


Weird and Ominous

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [11]
Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen, no tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6508588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Turns out this wedgie thing is slowly spreading around. Now Thundra and Patsy are in the mix? Can we one day see Elektra in one of these crack fics? Is that a hint I'm preparing something with Elektra in it? Tune in next time on <a class="discoverytag" href="http://www.deviantart.com/tag/wedgiewednesday">#wedgiewednesday</a><br/>  </p>
    </blockquote>





	Weird and Ominous

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out this wedgie thing is slowly spreading around. Now Thundra and Patsy are in the mix? Can we one day see Elektra in one of these crack fics? Is that a hint I'm preparing something with Elektra in it? Tune in next time on [#wedgiewednesday](http://www.deviantart.com/tag/wedgiewednesday)  
>   

 "My daughter, how is she, Jennifer?"

Thundra, the Champion of the United Sisterhood Republic, and Jennifer Walters, the Champion of the little guy, are doing lunch together for the first time in ages. The apartment's empty, so Jen figured why not? It'd be a surprise for Lyra to see her too.

Though, it's a rarity for Jen being the short one here -- even in her three inch heels, Thundra's still got some height on her.

"She's doing fine," Jennifer says, "Real smart, real strong. Graduated the Academy with flying colors."

"Well, we do not teach fools in the Sisterhood," Thundra points out, "And Lyra was among our top scholars there. Perhaps her history was a bit different, but nothing she couldn't learn."

"Surprisingly, history _was_ her best subject. She complained about it endlessly, though, so I figure she passed it out of spite."

"I complained as well, you remember? It's so male-dominated."

"When you prevent an entire group of people from doing anything, that divide tends to show up in what's written."

"A flaw in a decaying society. Nothing that can't be fixed moving forward."

Jen nods along, more to change the subject than agreeing. "Speaking of things that could be fixed, Lyra's got it in her head to keep giving me wedgies which --"

"What's a wedgie?" Thundra interrupts.

Jen studies her face for a moment and realizes she's asking sincerely. While she doubts there's no wedgies in the Sisterhood, they probably have a different name for it. Now, she could either explain it or _demonstrate_ it. The latter is infinitely more amusing.

"Turn around and I'll show you," she says.  

Thundra does as she's asked, turning around to give her back to Jen. She feels the waistband of her jeans move back and, though she's figured out what a wedgie is, she's powerless to stop her red panties from rocketing up her back and into her butt. She clutches Jen's counter as she's lifted off the ground by her underwear.

Jen, merciful, doesn't leave her up there for too long. Thundra goes to speak but her voice comes out in a squeak, making Jen laugh even harder than she was before.

With zero shame, Thundra drops her jeans to pick out her wedgie. Jen's never really noticed how much junk Thundra's packing in that trunk of hers. When she pulls her jeans up, Jen sees her underwear already starting to wedge itself again.

"Are you done staring?" Thundra teases. "Don't forget it's you who turned down my advances."

"No, it's just that -- I wasn't _staring_ ," Jen clears her throat and changes the subject, "You're not gonna' get me back?"  

"Of course," Thundra says, taking a seat on Jennifer's couch. "But not today. When you least expect it, so you can't brace yourself for it."

"That's... not ominous or weird at all, Thundra."

"Your father is not ominous or weird at all."

For a moment, Jen just looks at her until she realizes she was the victim of a "Your Dad" joke. With a resigned sigh, she brings out the monster-sized sandwiches she made for the two of them.

About a week later, Jen's closing up after another successful day at the office. Even with her solo canceled, life goes on for her, seeing as she's still in print. Patsy and Angie are gone for the day, all her clients satisfied, all her opponents on edge.

At peace and kind of tired, she sits down at her desk and relaxes her head on it. A little nap never hurt anyone -- Lyra makes dinner anyway --  and she starts to drift off.

Of course, until her suit jacket's thrown over her head and her honey bee panties are hooked on a chair. She has half a mind who it is, either Carmilla or Thundra, but wonders who's so savvy to get her on laundry day.

Also, given who's actually in this story, she quickly deduces it's Thundra. She hears tape being put around her underwear and she slams her hands down on the table (not with any real strength behind it).

"Thundra!" she yells, voice a little muffled until she takes her jacket off her head. "You're in for it!"

"It's called getting even!"

"You have like a day and a half to get even! After that, any kind of wedgie is considered a new, unprovoked one!"

Thundra's tone changes from self-righteous to amused. "Are you lawyering me on wedgies?"

Jen's silent for a moment. "Look, just let me go."

"I will not. Your nieces were kind enough to help me through with this plan and I intend to see it to completion."

"What's completion?'

Thundra walks over to the front of the recently cleared table and duct tapes Jen's hands to it. Jen's strong enough to break it easily and she does so.

"Flaw in the plan," Thundra says, "Nothing that can't be fixed moving forward. Anyway, completion is a couple of hours until that Ross woman gets worried."

"You're evil."

"Ask the Fantastic Four."

Jen seems to be stuck but Carmilla did this to her before, except she used glue. She got a number of replacement chairs in case she needs to break them. Jen stands up swiftly and then slams down hard on the chair, shattering it.

Thundra's eyes go wide as Jen removes the tape from her panties.

"My turn."

Thundra's back goes up against the wall. "We're even."

Jen thinks about it -- does she really want to engage in such a childish prank? Are her nieces rubbing off on her too much? Answering no and yes to both questions, she yields. "We're even."

Of course, neither woman actually believes the other will really call it even, so they both eye the door then each other.

"You can go, Thundra," Jen says.

"You first. I love to watch you walk," Thundra says, pretending to check Jen out.

"Perv," Jen teases, voice full of sarcasm. "Just go."

"You first."

" _Go._ "

Deciding enough is enough, Thundra slides along the wall out the door. Jen follows. Both women walk down the steps to get to the main exit -- they come to another impasse. This time, they both smirk at each other. The fear's been transformed into competitive spirit.

"We're not really even, are we?" Jen asks.

"Not even close," Thundra answers.

They circle around each other and Thundra makes the first move, wrapping Jen in a hug and pulling her in the air by her underwear. Jen manages to get her feet back and return the favor. Both women keep pulling and pulling.

Eventually, both their underwear, Jen's honeybee panties and Thundra's blue cherry print panties, gets up to their neck. They figure the only way to win is to get the other one's panties over their face before their own goes over their face.

Jen heaves with all her strength, blinding Thundra with her underwear and putting the waistband right under her nose. 

Thundra returns the favor, masking Jen's vision with yellow and black fabric.

"I think... we should call a truce..." Jen weakly manages, trying in vain to remove her underwear.

"Agreed," Thundra says.

At that moment, Patsy Walker walks in.

"Jen, I forgot my phone..." she trails off. 

She expected Jen to be here but not like this and not with a similarly sized woman in the same situation. Her first instinct is to help them out of their predicaments and then she recognizes Thundra.

While they pick the underwear out as best they can, Patsy just laughs.

"You two looked like giant nerds. First of all, Jen, what _were_ those panties? I saw a picture of an actual bee on the front. Second, Thundra, could those _be_ any bigger? And cherries? God, you two are so lucky I didn't take a selfie. Could you imagine?"

"Patsy, y'know, you talk too much," Jen says, looking away.

"Someone could get offended," Thundra points out.

Then Patsy realizes what a big mistake she's made.

A few minutes later, Thundra and Jen leave together while Patsy tries to unhook her panties from under her chin. Then, she'll focus on getting down from the wall. While that's a lotta' pain, her main embarrassment is from Jen making fun of the Mickey Mouse print.

"It's vintage..." Patsy weakly mumbles, finally getting her underwear off her face. Now, she can see the steel girder above her head and it's not too hard to grab it and set herself down back on her feet.  

Kissing the ground and dewedging her panties, Patsy promises _revenge_.  


End file.
